I too feel so maddened by articles that speak about why men cheat and say it’s because of the relationship

He was the love of my life and everything seemed okay until he started saying he was depressed with his life

Wow Jana, you took words right out of my mouth. NO. I too had unmet needs, ALOT OF THEM, but I stayed, grinded, worked my ass off on myself, on us, on my baby and on running my household. I did the hard work that life calls on especially mothers and I had grit and determination. If he had issues, he should have spoken up. But it is easier for them not to. It is easier for them to be a coward and go get their “needs” met on the mulheres russas contra mulheres americanas side like a true monster. He cheated because he is a deeply disturbed human being. Period. End of story. I believe the garbage out there about why men cheat is just another form of misogyny.

I also connected to every word you spoke of in your second paragraph. For a second, i thought you knew my ex and was talking about him! This is exactly him. Since writing this in December I have done alot of research and realized my ex is a narcissist/sociopath. I know that sounds outlandish however he is at least somewhere on the spectrum and he (along with SO MANY) other men (and some women too) follow a very predictable pathology. The fact that your ex and my ex are so similar I believe is no coincidence. Since learning about narcissism and narcissistic abuse, I have been able to finally put to words what has happened to me and its allowed me to be more peaceful with it. I still have a ways to go but maybe this insight will help you too.

I’m seeing everyone’s story & opinion and I can relate to all of it. My husband also had an affair within the past year & has messed up several times since the affair. Talking to other women when mad at me, flirting & exchanges pictures. I have since moved out & he says he wants more than anything to make our marriage work. I continuously let him have a place in my life. Has anyone ever actually said “no more chances” & left??

He is not unhappy in the marriage. He has made himself believe that he is unhappy in the marriage so he feels okay about the affair and it’s justified in his head.

I will never ever love him the same you just can’t

Hi ladies. It’s like you have been writing about my husband it’s so identical. Think really carefully. I had my husband back as we have 3 kids and 2 years on it’s still ruining my life. He had a 6 month affair with a woman at work. She knew we had 3 kids. He never said once he was unhappy. I had a 11, 7 and 2 year old at that time. The trust never really comes back. The hurt is still there. Had I known how I would feel now 2 years later I would never have agreed to trying. I feel like I’m not good enough even 2 years on. He could fly to the moon for me and it wouldn’t be a good enough. I still have PTSD and Feel like he will hurt me again so terrified about the future. 18 years marriage and 3 kids. I’m so trapped. He’s given me a life sentence on this and he wants to never talk about it again now we are 2 years on. So sad.